Until few minutes ago I was in my bed turning from a side to another without having sleep.
My thought is fixed on what happened today; another wall has gone down, another star of hope collapsed in front of my eyes, without giving me the possibility to react in any way. Try to think you were walking in a path (helped by someone else) in which you were reaching the light of a pale down, and suddenly the dark comes back…and you stay there saying, o no, not yet…my psycologist says everyday I don’t have to worry about bad things that could happen in my life, but this won’t stop these happening the same; and perhaps wouldn’t it be better to suffer before, so that you are prepared to receive the shot.
Today I was unprepared (even if a strange sensation in the morning shook me somehow, something hidden, too much perhaps); I was trusting a person who didn’t deserve it; (“encore une fois, je suis cassé, encore une fois, je n’y crois pas” some kind of obsession in my head, these words). I was thinking that someone different could give me the chance to improve my life, this was the last step to reach it. But everyone makes his own interest, and this person is not different from others; and today, like a sharpen axe, he did hit me, destroying my trust and my faith in a better future.
The phoenix is tired of his continuos rebirth from the cinder; I think it won’t wake up anymore with another hit like this.
Love is understanding? Why it’s so difficult to find both in other human (is it right to use this word in this case) being?